Thinking

My idea for this site may not turn out the way I'd imagined. I wouldn't be the first person to have jumped at an idea that meant something only to run into details and realizations that simply didn't occur beforehand. This is where it would have helped to have had a better understanding of the medium I chose. Live and learn though, ay?

I may not always have this website. I may not always host my images with the same company I've currently chosen. The world wide web is an unpredictable place. I wanted to be creating something that would mean something to you once you got a little older. I've gotten tired of forgetting things and worrying about how much I will have forgotten by the time you're each at a life stage where my ideas might actually mean something. I wanted to preserve them and I wanted to do it in a way that didn't require me to block off hours of my free time playing with paper cut-outs, funky stickers and glue. I chose typing because I can keep up with my thoughts easier than I can while hand writing things. I enjoy graphics and doing a minimal amount of coding so the computer seemed reasonable.

Here I am completely unsure of the future of a thing that means a lot to me. I will still do this but I will do it worrying the whole while that it won't last; not in the full expression I initially intended it to. I like important things to be certain, unalterable if I so choose. I want to know that this will be here, online and in it's present form, when you finally get curious. I've chosen images that mean something to me and connect to what I felt at the moment I wrote each entry. Those have to stay.

Ironic. The purpose of this blog was to preserve moments and bits of myself so that regardless of any future circumstances, you will know me and know parts of our lives together as seen through my eyes. I started it to give you surety and now it's surety I'm most in doubt of.

So it seems, every child (whether defined by age or newness to their path) must feel this same uncertainty and want the same reassurances. I get it now.