Family Time

For the past six years we've been lucky enough to be able to take regular trips to what has become our favorite family retreat. Lake Keystone is a State Park with several private cabins, a 26,000 acre lake and most importantly, the opportunity to spend time together as a family without the interruptions of home.

We take walks together, skip rocks, fish, feed the squirrels & birds, play board games when it's cold, raining or after dark and in general relearn how to keep in touch with each other. This past weekend we introduced horseshoes into the mix and I basically got my butt handed to me by Jack. But that's okay. We have two more lake trips planned this month and I'm sure one of them will afford me the opportunity for revenge. As un-motherly as that may sound, I know each kid loves the challenge. And heck, why not make the most of it while whoopin' up on me is still somewhat of a challenge?

Saturday night was calm with just a hint of a breeze. Having met another family of friends there, we all headed down to the beach at dusk for some light fishing and general companionship. We built a fire next to the water and sat around talking, laughing and understandably not catching any fish at all. But we had fun! Oodles of it in fact. You boys roasted marshmallows, made s'mores and got muddy as you romped along the shore disturbing more than your share of wildlife. In turn you each sought time out to come sit on my lap and watch the lights from across the lake reflect in ripples back to us. It was time that meant the world to me.

When Chrissy joins us we seem to automatically divide into "girl time" and "boy time" coming together mainly at night to watch a movie on my laptop or play some games. I really enjoy the time alone I get with each child, but having this time with Chrissy is even more special since I don't get to see her as often as we'd both like. Since her father and I divorced and he won custody, time has become something sacred and cherished for us. Our time together isn't nearly enough or as much as we would like for it to be. But we have become experts at using the time we're given to it's fullest. In a way, our separation has gifted us with incredible focus and a depth of communication typically lost on other full-time parent/child relationships. We don't have the burden of illusion when it comes to the reality of time. I say "burden" because I see too many other families who take their day-to-day cohabitation for granted always believing the heavy talks can wait another day when they can't and they shouldn't.

In that regard, our lake trips have become sacred. The placid environment provides a near perfect backdrop for our heartfelt dialogue. The serenity brings us both added comfort and enables open-minded discussions that flow as smoothly as the lake itself. We can be fun or serious...or even anonymous as we sit in the dark surrounded by nature.

On the weekends she doesn't accompany us I've noticed the boys are taking advantage of this openness; encouraged by our tranquil settings. Slowly each one is starting to find reasons to spend time with me away from brother and dad. In these moments I'm discovering much more than would be possible amidst the hurried lives we lead back home. And with each trip I become more grateful for the opportunity afforded us through such a simple outing.