JackJackJackJackJack.....

This is one of those posts that cause me some minor motion sickness as I sit here unable to stop shaking my head in true parental style. Boy, we are out of ideas that will motivate you. This is your first official school year and I feel like it's taken a good 5 years off my life expectancy.

You know we love you, we tell you that and show you on a daily basis. But you're conduct, attitude and inability to get with the program enough to complete even the simplest of tasks is starting to drive me mad. Mad as in crazy, not angry. Anger dissipated months ago and was replaced by frustrated sadness. You are such a smart kid too! Once you've been forced to sit and do the work, you're really good at it. Which makes the whole testing situation that much more frustrating. You know the answers, it's as if you simply can't be bothered with such mundane requirements. Especially not when there's a perfectly good street curb you could be jumping or a cushion of the sofa that's begun to lose the dimpled imprint of your butt or even a piece of artwork you've been meaning to work on. You have motivation. You don't sit around playing video games and frying your brain cells with lethal cocktails of Very Berry pop tarts and non-stop episodes of Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends all the live long day. You're incredibly active and creative and downright ingenious with both your ideas and your wit.

You just don't seem to care about the same things we care about. And while that's perfectly acceptable when considering things like how you dress or your favorite color or the type of music you like, when it comes to school and matters of health it's a subject we simply can't bend on.

We don't expect a 1st grader to grasp the importance of school completely. You couldn't care less that it's a requirement nor that you might have to repeat the same grade until you get it right. You want to have fun and be happy and simply can't fathom why so many adults are making such a big deal about such a boring topic. Thing is, I've seen you do the work and do it well and then when they test you, you sort of blow it off and give goofball answers. Your report cards and progress reports are abysmal because you think testing is silly. And if the poor grades and daily performance updates were something we could get you help with, we'd do it in a heartbeat. I just don't know anyone who hires a life coach for their 7-year-old!

How can we motivate you beyond the tactics we've tried so far? We've gone through every stage of punishment we could think of: grounding, writing sentences, giving up privileges as well as money/toys/games/special events, extra work, a calendar of daily tasks/responsibilities, a reward system based on both the influence of long term goals and then as that failed we switched to a daily affirmation system to keep you from getting lost in requirements and rewards that were too far away for you to actual feel the immediate benefits of. We've even spanked you which you H.A.T.E. You don't respond to goals, punishment, rewards, praise, structured guidance or even simple proof of cause and effect.

Needless to say, I'm frustrated, worried and completely at a loss.

For the love of all that's holy and even a few things that might not be....Help me help you, help me help you! You are not the only child in this house and eventually the other members of the family are going to want some attention too. It's not fair to them that your dad and I have to devote our entire evenings making sure you take care of your business. From school to home your lack of motivation runs the gamut and our house is becoming filled with dialogue that mostly begins with "Jack".

And it's not right and it's not fair. It has to stop.