Not so easy

Melissa over at Suburban Bliss said this: "everywhere the world seems to be going crazy about kids getting hurt and at the same time the world is wondering why our kids are so fat. Maybe our kids are so fat because they can't just ride a bike anymore they have to strap on a helmet and knee pads and elbow pads and wrist guards and a full body condom just in case."

I agree. I really do!

I guess I'm realizing that your childhoods don't resemble mine in the least. They're even further removed from your dad's though. To the degree I was given free range of my neighborhood growing up, your dad had twice that and then some. It was typical for us to hop on our bikes and be gone the entire day or get dropped off at the community pool only to be picked up 8 hours later. To be honest, I can't see us doing that with you. We are starting to let you boys tour the neighborhood but I have to confess that I fear things like vehicle/bike accidents, abductions and your getting lost more than I probably should. Daddy bringing home those long-range walkie talkies worked wonders at calming my jittery nerves. Still, I have a moment of panic when I call you on them and don't get an immediate response. My point is....I'm trying!

I'm not sure what kind of world we're living in right now. I can't tell if there are more bad people today than ever before in history or if we just have more access to their lives. Our world is definitely hooked on the drama associated with bad things happening to good people. I just don't want that to be the defining symbol of your childhoods: lives reigned in due to inclement people. It's a tough compromise for me and I'm not always sure what's acceptable for the moment and what might be tempting fate in one direction or another with my choices.

So I warn you to stay away from people I get bad vibes from and generally encourage you to be mindful of your surroundings. But I know you're kids. If you were fully capable of being 100% mindful at your ages, humans would join the majority of other mammals and send their offspring out into the world to fend for themselves well before current legal standards. Parenting has proven to be the thinnest line I've ever walked between serenity and insanity. Every choice has the power to either encourage your independence or steal it away. And with no crystal ball telling me for certain which will end up where, I'm stuck making judgment calls.

It's tough relying on my own personal judgment when every adult in my young life has at one time or another insisted I lacked the variety considered "good" by their standards. I've felt stuck; do I believe them or do I believe in myself? The answer to that varies depending on the kind of day I'm having. I want to be cautious and keep you safe while at the same time allowing you to experience an acceptable amount of real life struggles to better prepare you for society. You need to hurt yourselves in moderate ways to make you less inclined to hurt yourselves in major ways. A little pain is a better educator than mere dialogue alone. The trick is in keeping it at an acceptable level. With this task I have my good days and I have my bad days. As a parent, it's never easy watching your child hurt. It's even harder knowing that pain in their lives is imminent and it's the smaller ones that help get them ready for the big ones.

Letting you go feels more like snatching a band-aid from a sensitive wound each time we take the necessary steps apart. I have to remind myself that it's a little pain that will keep us all from the fate of something much larger.


In that regard, I hope I'm right.